wombattty

the practical ones.

2012-01-19T22:52:00.003+08:00

one of my students has a very chillax face. but don't be fooled, his mind is whirring all the time and he comes up with jokes all the time.

today, during english, they learnt how to use the comparing phrase "better than". they were supposed to make a sentence comparing singing and painting.

"i like painting better than singing. i won't lose my voice."

haha he should totally write his own joke book.

snape. snape. severus snape.

2012-01-06T23:21:00.002+08:00

one of my students asked me, on the first day we met in class, "teacher why your skin so horrible!"

and he didn't let it rest at that.

while lining up to go back to class after recess, the same student looked up at me.

student: teacher, why your skin so horrible?
me: excuse me! what is a nicer way of saying that?
student: oh. teacher, what happened to your skin?
me: well, it's pimples. you'll get them when you're a teenager.
student: ohhhh pimples! have pimples, must go to NEW YORK SKIN SOLUTIONS!

happy friday, first week down! (:

new year, new students, new laughs

2012-01-03T21:18:00.001+08:00

one of my student really looks like an ah pek.

teachers: you really look like an ah pek!
student: NO LAHH! *ah pek wave*

hahaha school has so started. 파이팅!

제 혼란스러운 마음이..

2011-12-22T15:18:00.004+08:00

maybe i didn't do it because i'm a girl, or because i was lazy, or because i was worried about the impending rain, or because it was unconventional, or because i didn't want to make it a regular occurrence, or because i was expecting something more, or because i just didn't get the hint (내 동생 just thinks i'm a total 바보 actually).

whatever it was, i'm freaking confused by my own actions, and by the (probable) utter lack of use of brain in this whole thing. was it right, was it wrong.. it was more a "뭐야..", now that i think about it.

i'm sorry! i just wasn't thinking when you asked ): i think your disappointment is going to haunt me for a while.

and i think i'm going to pay dearly for this, as i wallow in my sad jay chou songs.

행복 댄스~ (:

2011-11-25T00:00:00.003+08:00

Love Revolution, 씨엔블루
사랑의 메시지 날 부르지
향기로운 너의 향기가 내 마음 흔들지
내 옆에 누울 때 내 곁에 잠들 때
너의 숨결을 느낄 때
I want you in my life

널 향한 내 노래 내 줄리엣
달콤했던 너의 목소리 매일 들리네
두 눈이 날 볼 때 날 보며 웃을 때
내 심장은 모두 stop

I want a you in my life (나의 사랑 너에게)
내 삶의 산소 같은 너 (모든 걸 바칠게)
I want a you in my life (너에게 하나의 바램)
매일 너와 함께 숨쉬고 파 (항상 웃어줄래)
힘들 때 비타민처럼 상큼해
아플 땐 엄마 품 같은
You in my life (널 꼭 안아줄게)
영원히 너만 사랑해 Forever

하늘이 준 선물 넌 내 보물
오직 너밖에 모르는 너만의 바보
넌 내 수호천사 너 없인 못살아
너를 절대 안 떠날래
I want a you in my life
하늘이 준 선물 천사가 준 보물
축복받은 너에게 바칠 나만의 선물
난 너의 성수 난 너만의 선수
지구 끝까지 갈래 start

I want a you in my life (나의 사랑 너에게)
내 삶의 산소 같은 너 (모든 걸 바칠게)
I want a you in my life (너에게 하나의 바램)
매일 너와 함께 숨쉬고 파 (항상 웃어줄래)
힘들 때 비타민처럼 상큼해
아플 땐 엄마 품 같은
You in my life (널 꼭 안아줄게)
영원히 너만 사랑해 Forever

어딜 가든지 함께 있다면 절대
주저 않지 않을걸 사랑의 전기로 날 일으켜
더딘 걸음이라도 난 꿈을 찾을 거야
(One two three four)

I want a you in my life (나의 사랑 너에게)
내 삶의 산소 같은 너 (모든 걸 바칠게)
I want a you in my life (너에게 하나의 바램)
매일 너와 함께 숨쉬고 파 (항상 웃어줄래)
힘들 때 비타민처럼 상큼해
아플 땐 엄마 품 같은
You in my life (널 꼭 안아줄게)
영원히 너만 사랑해 Forever

<3

things we often forget

2011-11-20T23:15:00.002+08:00

sanctuary: a place of safety and refuge, but also the sacred area of the church.

people always forget the latter definition of the word sanctuary. in our modernity and advancement, we often forget to appreciate the importance of some traditions, and the reasons for holding on to such traditions.

tradition (or as modern society would put it, the inability to advance / the irritating rigidity of the older generation) is something i can appreciate, something i would hold on to. it is also something i can never explain in a way that would convince my peers to view tradition the way i do. or maybe i'm just boring / fuddy duddy haha.

"what the sanctuary is just a very big hall what, who says i can't use it for my own purposes?" oh, but don't forget how the idea of the sanctuary started out - it is a very big sacred hall, don't forget.

that is all.

또 비가 와요.. 조금 슬픈, 하지만..

2011-11-13T18:29:00.002+08:00

난 며칠 전이 꿈했어요.. 제 친구는 꿈에서 했어요.

이 친구는.. 제 기억에 같은하다 - 먹은, 잠을, 웃은.

꿈은 정말 진짜 같았어요!

아.. 보고 싶어, 아찬씨!

하지만.. 난 너무 좋아 (:

work hazards

2011-11-11T23:35:00.003+08:00

means i'm getting sleepy already. then again, it's already 11.30+pm, so it's a good habit at least.

term's coming to an end already. amazing, did ten weeks just zoom past? super going to miss the kids, and all the people i've met this time. soon it'd be 6 months. then again, it's been an amazing ten weeks, in school and out of it. in life in general.

i'm so retarded now. must have gone crazy today, because... 트랙스. IS. BACK :D haha i'm such a loyalist, but they seriously deserve more exposure.

oh and happy peppero day everyone! ||^.^||

여로분 잘자요~

days off :D

2011-11-07T16:22:00.003+08:00

totally rock hurhur. but i'm so inundated with french culture (yes, the next country the kids are learning about is france), it's not funny anymore. i can practically sing the belle song from beauty and the beast in full.

then again, the memory just got invaded by the trololo song haha.

and i never imagined replying one email will actually make me choke up. i must be psycho. but i think the memory's still a bit fresh. looks like my type of catharsis is watching videos and looking at insane photos on facebook, rather than writing about it.

anyway, meeting the !kung bushmen for dinner tonight, and looking forward to trax's comeback this weekend! okay random hurhur.

(:

2011-10-30T14:37:00.001+08:00

All things work for our good
Though sometimes we don't see how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just don't see Him
Remember you're never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

He sees the master plan
And He holds our future in His hand
So don't live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him
We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry
He's weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart
Trust His heart

He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

행복이 기억

2011-10-25T21:02:00.002+08:00

grief is a very strange thing, and catharsis is one way of dealing with it. we remember what silly things we did in the short few years that seemed to last forever. we look back on old facebook photos and videos that involved a lot of unglam shots and random crazy screams. we realise how much we've shared in those short years.

i'm not quite sure what to do with myself now, my heart is churning. but we hold fast to the promise that God gives us, that He is in control, that He knows what's best.

catch you sometime later, ah chan.

life lessons.

2011-08-11T16:16:00.002+08:00

in this time of job search, i think i've learnt a few things:
trusting God and listening to Him
is so much more comforting and reassuring
so much less frustrating
than trusting man and listening to human advice.

putting God and His work first
is so much more rewarding and empowering
so much less tiring
than putting human desires and wants first.

i will go ahead with God as the priority, and i trust and believe, things will go a lot better in His time. not with the aim of proving you wrong (or proving anyone right for that matter), but for His purposes for me, and for my life to be lived out for Him.

jeremiah 29:11.

trust.

2011-07-07T15:38:00.001+08:00

in the darkest of times, Your light shines through.

oh why ruth, do you keep forgetting, your Father's amazing promises for you!

i will cling to You and the hope You give (:

안녕하세요?

2011-03-24T00:06:00.002+08:00

i was going to type a short post in 한국어 for practice, but i gave up haha. grammar's not enough at this time, and not functioning well enough at midnight. anyway, haven't been here in a really long time, i realise.

talk about many many things happening. i'm close to graduation (박수!) and my 4 years has gone by just way to fast. apart from a serious case of seniorititis and the absolute fear of not being gainfully employed before i leave formal education, life has been good i guess (: a lot of other things that i was worried about didn't come to pass, so that's good.

okay seriously, this post is going nowhere haha. my head is just flooded with pempel now. but i guess what i wanted to say is, I'M ALIVE :D

total recap! ㅋㅋㅋ

2010-12-10T19:13:00.003+08:00

oh goodness, it's been ages since i wrote, over one month to be exact. my 바보 둥생's (haha it's totally funny to call him that ㅋㅋㅋㅋ) hanging out at my room now, and i'm totally bored.

life's been good so far (: the 22nd came and went, thanks muchly to all who remembered *refs to facebook note*. i think as i grow older (gasp), i'm starting to appreciate the little birthday celebrations a lot more. think smu and the bunch of sb54321 people have changed me for the better (: and serving Him as well. okay i'm rambling haha.

in other news, i have discovered my all-new favorite variety show ever since the first batch of family outing episodes ended: running man :D yoo jae suk is really the king of variety and mc-ing seriously haha. if you haven't checked it out yet, just go watch one episode. now i feel like doing that kind of epic game during church camp or something, it'd be totally fun :D around kembangan area, not just church haha. totally cool :D

alright, dinner's ready and i have totally no inspiration ): the results of too much variety i tell you haha, and the lack of term papers this semester haha.

fighting ghosts.

2010-10-25T22:54:00.002+08:00

for all the training i got, i'm totally not prepared for everyone's worst enemy: your very own self. honestly, i'm quite tired of chasing all the time, when the run is superbly one-way. heck, even my dreams are of one-way runs (believe me, i got up actually feeling tired from running) and it's been a long time since i had running dreams. the more interesting part was the conversation i had with the other person in it (i'm sorry, i have no idea who you were hurhur. great, i'm talking to my dream characters now):

"why didn't you hold me back then?"
"because i couldn't hold on to you."

aside from the fact that it sounds like some line straight out of a teen soap (it was a nice line honestly, albeit highly cliche), and the fact that it makes me sound like some wild horse, it was so vivid. it haunts me till now, which means i need to start occupying my time with that population reading beside me, but anyway.

it was really very vivid. the whole dream was vivid. all my running dreams are so vivid all the time (and very tiring as well). funny interjection, but i ended up watching the amazing race later (more running). at least i didn't have to run for the bus today haha.

perhaps what mum says is right. i'm getting way to involved, i shouldn't be affected and stuff. but i can't keep walking away right? and i know if i walk away this time, i'll be relieved, but it'd haunt me, just like those running dreams.

nothing's gone so terribly wrong yet. looks like i'm holding on. but the feeling of being thrown to the side and only looked up to when needed really sucks. is that the life of service for Him? looks like it.

haha funny, jyj's empty was playing, making me totally emo nemo haha. looks like i'll be getting that album after all haha.

Empty by JYJ

Girl I swear
I’m never going through this again
I know that you thought you’d win
And before I give you another try
I’d die

Love won’t make you cry or ask why
Oh why
So I’ll deny my heart cause I won’t live a lie
Why try

Your heart is empty
And you’re so cold
You don’t care about you and I
Your heart is empty
You won’t let go
But I’m walking out this time

Why can’t you let it go
Girl because your heart is empty
Why can’t you let it go
Girl because your heart is empty

There you go
Tryna tell me how to be a man
When that’s something you just don’t understand
It’s time to bring your truth to light
No lie

Love won’t make you cry or ask why
Oh why
So I’ll deny my heart cause I won’t live a lie
Why try

Your heart is empty
And you’re so cold
You don’t care about you and I
Your heart is empty
You won’t let go
But I’m walking out this time

Why can’t you let it go
Girl because your heart is empty
Why can’t you let it go
Girl because your heart is empty

Your heart is gone
My heart is strong
Leave me alone

Your heart is empty
And you’re so cold
You don’t care about you and I
Your heart is empty
You won’t let go
But I’m walking out this time

Why can’t you let it go
Girl because your heart is empty
Why can’t you let it go
Girl because your heart is empty

♡

2010-10-10T23:37:00.003+08:00

사랑 빛 by C.N. Blue
그댈 보면 얼굴이 빨개지고
그댈 보면 가슴이 두근두근
아이처럼 수줍게 말하고
그댈 보면 괜시리 웃음이 나
바보처럼 자꾸만 그래
아 마 내게 사랑이 온 것 같아

그대는 내 마음 속의 President
내 가슴의 별 수놓지
I’m Genie for you Girl
내 숨을 멎게 하지
그 대가 원하는 건 다
너를 사랑하니까
내 사랑에 이유는 없잖아 You know

그 대는 Darling
밤 하늘 별빛보다 아름다워요
내 맘속 깊은 곳에서 반짝거리는
나 만의 사랑 빛

그대를 사랑해요 Darling
언제나 내 곁에서 빛을 내줘요
매일밤 바라보고
바라봐도 아름다워요
그댄 나의 사랑 빛

그 댈 보면 구름을 나는 기분
유치해도 자꾸만 그래
아마 내게 사랑이 온 건 가봐

그 대는 Darling
밤 하늘 별빛보다 아름다워요
내 맘속 깊은 곳에서 반짝거리는
나 만의 사랑 빛

그대를 사랑해요 Darling
언제나 내 곁에서 빛을 내줘요
매일 밤 바라보고
바라봐도 아름다워요
그댄 나의 사랑 빛

그 대는 Lovely
저 하늘 햇살보다 눈이 부셔요
내 맘속 어둔 곳까지 밝게 비추는
나 만의 사랑 빛

그대를 사랑해요 Lovely
두 눈을 감아봐도 그대 보여요
이렇게 바라보고
바라봐도 눈이 부셔요
그댄 나의 사랑 빛

now after hearing the makings behind this song, i love it even more (: kyahhhhhh~

i haven't felt like crying in a long time.

2010-10-08T01:48:00.002+08:00

and that is why, you should never find out the locations for your next meeting at 2am in the morning, or when you're 미쳤어.

either way, i really hope it's at raffles place and not changi, because i will truly be the only one going home that night. sigh, it's going to be a long weekend + week 9.

는 바보, 룻.

2010-09-29T20:24:00.002+08:00

happened once, happened again, will continue to happen i guess. it just gets frustrating, that's all.

thank goodness it doesn't happen too often. sometimes, no news indeed is good news still, i guess, even at my age, ㅋㅋㅋ.

end of the first cycle.

2010-09-23T23:37:00.002+08:00

it's times like these, during sharing sessions, that you're reminded about why you serve and why you should bother about this. i'm really glad i made the effort this time. for once, it was without complaint. for once, i can actually see this going forward. and once again, i'm superbly thankful for Big Papa up there, for watching over us all, because honestly, without His help in all this, it would never have happened, much less succeeded.

i pray i never forget the reasons why i serve. i pray that you guys will also find the joy in continuing this journey. trusting Him is so wonderful, i cannot explain it properly in words. the satisfaction and joy is truly amazing. it's not the first time i've experienced this, but i guess the reminder was truly much needed.

thank you all, and You too (:

black coffee at 10pm messes you right round.

2010-09-20T00:57:00.002+08:00

the gears are actually still turning up till now, i think it's partly to do with the mocha ice cream earlier. but i'm seriously darn cranky now (check the language hurhur).

honestly, when all the energy wears out, it'd be nice to have some help other than caffeine sometimes. it'd be really much appreciated.

i'm getting too human-dependent, when did i become like this? sigh, ruth of old, ARISE~ hurhur

why you shouldn't watch k-teen dramas (or any teen drama, for that matter)

2010-08-26T23:13:00.002+08:00

every girl wants to be pretty, loved by friends, loved by a special someone.

i guess that's not coming any time soon.

sorry, i missed your msn shout-out today. i missed you as well. haha GOAT.sometimes i wonder if this sort of talk scares people hurhur.

sometimes, we just need a sore reminder.

2010-08-18T00:15:00.002+08:00

we all are human with very raw emotions that often take us by surprise, especially when we fail to take control of them. then it becomes a problem.

i think i'm learning a lot this week.

in other news, i'm totally doomed with all the econs formulas. whoots to week one!

bus ride.

2010-08-14T00:40:00.003+08:00

i decided to take the hour-long bus home after bible study tonight.

for once, the bus didn't pass my ulu busstop. and i got the flying single-deck kind of bus. and for once, i didn't concuss on the bus at all (i have never been fully conscious through a journey between church and home before this haha).

i got to see the raya lights. i spied one dude eating on the bus (YES I SAW YOU MUAHAHHAA). i listened to super junior live with seinnheiser goodness for a good one hour. i saw a bunch of cyclists having night cycling. i spotted the flyer, helix bridge, and the fullerton, all three in their night-lit beauty.

i sat for the whole ride home (and subsequently morphed my butt into a rough square) and didn't have to fight for standing space. i replied messages i never can do on the crowded mrt (and got encouraged this way too (:). in fact, i composed this whole thing on the ride home.

and i was hom in slightly under an hour. plus i made full use of the last day of my bus concession.

as cher says, rocks right?

thanks You, for the ride (:

on a side note, childish? childish lor, what to do. but HAIYO, so childish *shakes head ala mommy style*

to the ravine!

2010-07-24T00:56:00.002+08:00

sigh is all i can say. i have to stop acting like a 바보. maybe i really do need to do an elijah.

anyhow, i can't wait to end work hurhur, but it's been fun so far. actually looking forward to school. i've turned weird!

and to explain the mixpod list there, i just got bored of what music i had at work. internet radio doesn't stream, but youtube does. talk about loopholes -.-

life is like a fruit and nut chocolate bar: it's just full of fruits and nuts. figuratively.

2010-07-17T00:28:00.001+08:00

you uncooperative people (cues sigh of annoyance).

last night's sleep.

2010-07-09T00:36:00.003+08:00

haha not really significant, but i found this funny. i can't remember how i fell asleep last night. all i know is, i was freaking cold at around 4am in the morning because the aircon was on, and my blanket was still folded.

i think i really concussed or something, total loss of consciousness haha. i mean, i usually vaguely remember drifting off to sleep, but last night was like some memory wipe - a huge blank in the middle of nowhere.

it was kind of a nice concuss. then again, i must have been really tired.

HWAITING!

in times like these

2010-07-07T23:57:00.001+08:00

i sing and look to You.

and blast happy korean songs kekeke.

加油！

let's just talk a little bit.

2010-06-16T22:50:00.002+08:00

i remember someone once told me "no harm telling, disclosure is good sometimes."

following that line, after tonight, at least i know i'm not excessively naggy by myself now haha.

thanks lots mattsy (:

youth.

2010-06-08T01:08:00.002+08:00

hmmm...

so who's gonna care about us? there's only so much passion to go around from the same people, all the time and at once. oh well, that's the way things roll.

back a week.

2010-05-26T01:06:00.004+08:00

still displaced much. i realise, i haven't written about guizhou yet. but i guess, some things are better left unsaid sometimes.

i mean, i'm happy to be back (especially now that the paper is out of the way) and all, and my bed and the efficient public transport is comfy. not to mention, youtube mania is almost back in full swing, but i don't think it'd be as drastic as during week 14 haha, when i was stressed and in denial.

but it's times like 1am, when the memories come back. of the times spent. of the people met. of the place loved but left behind.

God willing, i want to go back with a greater purpose. a heart for other people excluding self is one good thing, among many others, that came out of this trip.

under a week to go

2010-04-18T16:02:00.002+08:00

before i'm off to the land of the pandas haha. oh well, it'd be fun.

and so exams are finally over, but the term hasn't quite ended yet, since pssm is like a... very long course haha. i'll only be done with it one week after i get back, and that one week will be spent writing the paper. WHOOTS~

anyhow, the end of exams finally gives me time to prepare for the trip, plus gives me time to do all the things i've wanted to do, like spend more time rolling around, sleeping, not reading some environmental science nonsense, fixing my computer, doing up my research, watching youtube (yes, it is sooo back)... it's been a fun 3 days haha. too bad the coming week's not going to be as slack, i kind of miss the slacking.

now i just need the confidence to prepare myself, get my research plan done, and to really 放心 and leave everything behind for slightly under 3 weeks. i pray that i'll be able to do it. honestly, it'd be the first time i can really get away from singapore, since i'll be suitably uncontactable, scary but true. i think it'd be a good detox time (:

JIAYOU to all those still whacking those papers! your time will come kekeke. like, when i get back, you'd be free as a bird, while i'll be writing about china hurhur.

it was a pleasant weekend.

2010-04-05T10:32:00.002+08:00

it was a nice peaceful good friday / easter weekend, albeit being relatively unproductive. i blame it on the lack of tea and my house's excellent internet connection that allows youtube to load superbly fast. but it was a nice weekend (:

congrats to the people who just got baptised! pray that you guys will continue to grow in Him!

and cg girls' pajama party and $1 free flow kimchi is love kekeke

so now i'm refreshed to start week 14, which happens just about... now!

ruth, do you love me?

2010-03-28T18:44:00.001+08:00

understood, Sir. now i pray for more strength and wisdom hurhur.

MANSE!~

this is my calling.

2010-03-23T13:51:00.003+08:00

i know it is. i feel for it, and i have so much to give.

但坦白说，我真的很累了，也真的很想哭了。

加油！

oh gush, since when did i start blogging in chinese?

this is proving to be an amazing week.

2010-03-19T13:52:00.002+08:00

- by the looks of it, ocs really did lose my internship appraisal.
- i'm reading 2 different papers for my pssm research, and i don't know which to use, because i'm shooting myself in the foot if i do either.
- my mum just bought pizza back for lunch.
- it's raining cats and dogs and i don't know if i can go running later, miss it to bits and i think i need it.
- all these problems which are all not mine (okay, maybe partially mine) are constantly at the back of my head, which does not help alleviate my lack of cognitive resources to process everything else i've said.
- i have not spent more than an hour per day on youtube, which is a miracle. i think i'm just running out of shows.
- i spent my entire thursday in blissful academic ignorance, because my mum and i made 饺子 the whole day. which also means i have tons of lunch food in the freezer :D
- i appeared on korean tv. haha okay let's not go there.

whoots, i feel better. now back to shooting myself in the foot, or attempting not to do so.

아무 말 못해도 바랄 수 없어도

2010-03-12T01:37:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder if you'll ever get it, but i guess you won't, not just yet. it makes me wonder if i'm being too forward, or am i too reserved.

sometimes i wonder if you'll ever understand, but i guess you do. and it's most of the time, although sometimes i get annoyed and irked with you, but it all fades away, too fast sometimes. perhaps it's in my nature to do so, and i wonder if it is good to be so.

sometimes i wonder if it'll amount to anything, but i guess it's just not the time. at least that's what i gather from it all. anyway, i've been through it so many times, and it hasn't turned out the way fairytales end, or like all the other stories that surround me everyday. what's new?

sometimes i wonder if it's worth it at all. should i wait and see, or just let it all go?

though i can’t speak or want anything at all.

z.

2010-03-09T16:33:00.002+08:00

i realise i have very few aspirations this term. oddly oxymoronic (alliteration at it's worst), they are super simple but highly difficult to attain. i think it started with last term, and kind of carried over.

get through readings. get through the 3-day week. get through the project / presentations / simi lahs. pull up gpa. be less pms-y, if at all. appear online more often / be less hermit-ish. hibernate for a year. ignore emails for a day (only to find myself in some deep shite after that day). not fall sick / keep healthy. wise up to whatever's going on with the ghin-nas in church.

amazing but true, i have yet to accomplish any of them to the standard i would very much like to. and i'm superbly tired already. zzzzzzz.

it's only words,

2010-03-07T22:45:00.003+08:00

and words have the power to make or break a man. they make people laugh, they also make people cry. they make people happy, they make people worry as well. the power to make one rise up to the occasion, and at the same time, the power to totally crush the earth (eh, i'm sure Big Daddy up there can do that okayyyy).

i think i've learnt that a lot, not just personally, but watching others interact. somehow, i think i never learn it well enough for myself, honestly, but i learn it enough, i think.

i shall refrain from words this time. silence is honestly sometimes the best policy. it is truly golden. i'll just go play my piano. i think sometimes, music expresses what you want in a totally honest way, yet without the biting power of the tongue.

music rocks haha.

life was a lot simpler in the year 2009.

2010-03-03T14:18:00.002+08:00

why don't people think about others around them before they act? sigh.

happy founders' day,

2010-03-01T17:20:00.002+08:00

acsians past and present. in my post-4.30am essay writing delirium, i forgot to wear my ac colours today and wore purple instead. and to think that i would feel very purple with my spects, yh beat me hands down hurhur.

okay i'm not really thinking, i think i need to sleep a bit now.

sometimes i wish i had a - - - - - - - - -.

2010-02-28T00:36:00.003+08:00

zomg, right after i typed the title, i wanted to kind of wilt and die hurhur. anyway, it'd be nice really. i think i wasn't entirely joking when i said it out loud today, sigh. and listening to the emo-nemo songs by super junior (for this, xt is very proud of me haha) is not making things any better. yes, they have better songs than just korea's national apology song hurhur.

another thought: anger robs the soul. sigh.

it's going to be a lousy week and weekend, i can already feel it coming. but oh well. sigh.

and yes, the title still applies, mushy and childish as it is. sigh.

figure of speech

2010-02-22T20:04:00.002+08:00

so i apologize for being totally angsty and frustrated yesterday, but thanks you 2 for listening (: i might have continued yelling pointlessly at the screen if not for the annoying orange (which is 10 times more annoying than what i was going through haha).

anyhow, funny how the s4g loves to experience things that the leader has never gone through. and as steph said, they always come in three's, and it keeps people rejuvenated. honestly, it's very tiring just thinking about it.

and i decided not to be head for a certain reason, so why is it my problem now? i think that's why i like to hide online. ignorance is bliss. i can't believe i was telling my mom how i dreaded checking my email (i check at least every 24 hours, believe me). totally, those few hours when i didn't get to my email, i was in total bliss hurhur.

and when it's all been said and done, i'll still say nothing about it, because i am, once again, too nice. GAHS. okay i'm done here, and i sound extremely frazzled. youtube, TIMING IS NOW!~

taking in the atmosphere!

2010-02-11T22:17:00.005+08:00

so i trooped down to chinatown after school yesterday with my parents, and it was really an experience. i've done it a couple of times, but i think i really appreciated a lot more this time, because prior to the trip, i was totally not in the cny mood at all, and work (and youtube) was all that filled my mind.

but i think it's a really cool thing to just go down to chinatown. you don't have to buy anything, just go look and squeeze with people. and if you walk around enough, you'd be full for dinner, since they give up samples like free haha. and you get to see things like...

smoked ham, chinese style, and...

the strings and strings of lup cheong. trust me, if we'd gone any earlier, the display would have been cooler haha.

anyway, off to pack now. i leave tomorrow afternoon for hotter and drier weather haha. in the meanwhile, happy cny! (:

cross and change.

2010-02-10T11:44:00.002+08:00

Welcome to Holland, by Emily Perl Kingsley (1987)

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

in response to the previous post:

2010-02-06T00:00:00.002+08:00

attack on the pin up boys is a pretty accurate portrayal of how i felt i guess haha. not a superb movie, but i think the subject matter it pokes fun at makes it a good one haha.

anyway, i'm tempted to get some sleep rather than write the paper. bleah.

observational study method.

2010-01-30T00:12:00.006+08:00

the sample observed today.

yes, believe it or not, i actually practiced what i learnt in my psych mods today. so how did i do that, you think?

it began with rach (or mcflurry girl, to cliffy haha) flying off today, so janna and i went to the airport. and, to cut a long story short, via mos, janna and i discovered that SHINee was arriving today as well (i think xt told me this. funny thing is, she's in canada and had to tell me who's arriving in singapore haha). so somehow, janna managed to convince me to go fangirl with her, and i ended up staying at the airport till about 10, because their flight got delayed. what possessed me to listen to janna, i will never know i think haha.

anyway, it's amazing what fangirls will do. personally, i don't think i'll go to the extent of rushing to the airport to scream my welcome, firstly because i live super far away from changi, secondly because i think these stars have enough support from me listening to their tunes and watching and laughing about their youtubes, thirdly because i think it'd be nice to have one less screaming and grabbing fangirl. well, in the first place, screaming and grabbing is so not my style of showing support haha. but that's personal, so please don't flame me.

but personally, i guess i got to see a little of something of singapore that i don't usually see. the fans screamed at just about every 180cm+ dude that walked past, even the poor ahjussi who looked thoroughly amused. people came with bling bling boards with those little lights that i've only seen on concerts on tv. every time some screaming carried over from the main crowd, 145432543 cammeras went up in sync. also, i rush with others towards the closing mrt door on a daily basis. today, i saw a different kind of rush, and i was thoroughly amused: when one of the members finally made it to the waiting van, zoooooom went the fans towards the glass doors. honestly, run like that during napfa, and you'll sure get an A for shuttle run. janna was more amused videoing them, while i was just busy laughing when not trying to take photos (in fact, we were more reporters than anything else haha). best part was, at least 99.9% of the people there probably are like me, with no or little understanding of korean. i mean, i spotted 2, out of 123454212 people, who actually were conversing in korean.

another thing observed was that most of them were like 16, 17 year olds. janna and i actually felt old there (well, in the first place, it'd been weird for us to yell "OOPA", since SHINee was like younger than us, and even weirder to yell something like "HOOBAE" or "DONG SENG"). maybe it's just me, but i think it's a bit worrying to see 16, 17 year olds behaving in that manner. i mean, the possibility that you'll never meet these people in real life, much less know them personally, is really extremely high. i mean, there's got to be more to life than being a fangirl. call me traditional, but i was somewhat... alarmed, for lack of a better word, about the really young (and impressionable, these 2 words come together too naturally) age these fans were. even funnier was that, it wasn't only girls there, there were guys as well, with equally enthusiastic behavior o.O

so what conclusions are there? 1. fangirls around the world behave in the same way. 2. the possibility of me being a fangirl is extremely low. 3. the possibility of me being an epic fail fangirl is very high. haha oh well, but as janna would say, this was the experience of a lifetime (in that, i'll probably never do this again), and i think it was a good psych exercise. should suggest to profs to do this kind of thing haha. i was actually applying psych terms to all i observed, which is cool and freaky at the same time haha.

okay, i'm done play psych investigator haha. to end it off, here's 5 seconds of screaming for you (notice the screaming girls running towards the glass door haha)! (:

filling a balloon full of my small dreams (:

2010-01-28T15:20:00.004+08:00

풍선 (Balloons) by 동방신기 (DBSK)
지나가버린 어린 시절엔 풍선을 타고 날아가는 예쁜 꿈도 꾸었지
노란 풍선이 하늘을 날면 내 마음에도 아름다운 기억들이 생각나

내 어릴 적 꿈은 노란 풍선을 타고 하늘 높이 날으는 사람
그 조그만 꿈을 잊어버리고 산 건 내가 너무 커버렸을 때

하지만 괴로울 땐 아이처럼 뛰어 놀고 싶어
조그만 나의 꿈들을 풍선에 가득 싣고

지나가버린 어린 시절엔 풍선을 타고 날아가는 예쁜 꿈도 꾸었지
노란 풍선이 하늘을 날면 내 마음에도 아름다운 기억들이 생각나

왜 하늘을 보면 나는 눈물이 날까 그것조차 알 수 없잖아
왜 어른이 되면 잊어버리게 될까 조그맣던 아이 시절을

때로는 나도 그냥 하늘 높이 날아가고 싶어
잊었던 나의 꿈들과 추억을 가득 싣고

지나가버린 어린 시절엔 풍선을 타고 날아가는 예쁜 꿈도 꾸었지
노란 풍선이 하늘을 날면 내 마음에도 아름다운 기억들이 생각나

랄라라라라 (세월이 흘러도)
랄라라라라 (잊어버려도 )
랄라라라라
라랄라라 랄랄랄라 라라라 (노란 풍선에 담을 수 있을까 )

지나가버린 어린 시절엔 풍선을 타고 날아가는 예쁜 꿈도 꾸었지
노란 풍선이 하늘을 날면 내 마음에도 아름다운 기억들이 생각나

so i discovered what the lyrics of DBSK's (yes, i'm quite into them now haha) balloons mean in english. all i can say is, life was so simple back then.

ladida~

2010-01-23T12:18:00.002+08:00

hurhur i just felt like writing.

school's been alright so far. what worries me is that i'm kind of a bit too relaxed, but then again, last term was 3 pol sci and 1 psych, so that was close to suicide hurhur. i think the whole 3-day week makes everything seem more slack as well. oh well, at least i'm keeping up with the readings, at least to the minimum.

changes, changes, changes! so destabilizing, yet so refreshing. i'm actually thankful for the changes this year, especially with the s4g additions. the whole dynamics has changed a bit, and i think it's good that it has. we'll see how tomorrow's lesson goes, i hope it goes alright. most challenging hurhur.

alright, reading time haha. ladida~

beating the Z monster

2010-01-07T15:37:00.003+08:00

yes, it's once again a major challenge this term, since (a) i have all morning classes, and (b) i have no class on thursdays and fridays. well, the zzzz challenge for (a), the laZy challenge for (b). like, HEY, what am i doing on facebook / youtube, or here writing for that matter, when i have at least 20 pages on average to read for each module? well done hurhur

okay really have to get started. plenty of reading to do. actually, it's good i'm alone now. no one to disturb the flexi reading schedule. why, i can even go without dinner, but that's highly unlikely hurhur.

okay later. my lunch break was supposed to end at 2, and it's 3.40 now hurhur

MANSE!~

2010-01-04T22:28:00.003+08:00

i have returned! from the land of inefficient public transport, jammed roads, plantation universities, and excellent food and shopping! and believe it or not, my voice is sexay again. steph, you might just get to hear it this sunday heheh.

so i was in msia for what felt like an age. honestly, i haven't stayed in kl for this long ever. funny, the way back from changi airport to my house seemed not only foreign (not kidding, i got startled for a bit when i woke up and heard the mrt announcement for bugis haha) but relatively short. well, on hindsight it was freaking long, since i took like 90 mins (running time for alvin and the chipmunks heheh) to get home with no wait. that's like going up to klang and sitting down for bak kut teh haha. but it was fun, since by long, i mean, for both christmas AND new year's. which was fun, since i haven't spent either festive event there in a long time. best thing was the entire chan clan was there, which meant extra noise, no joke.

and of course, some mention has to go to the wedding of the year, duh haha. all i can say is, organization and prior mass planning is essential in huge mega events like this o.O maybe that's why smu has one thousand and one briefings before an actual event takes place (the memory of lulu's mega long camp briefing of the games comes to mind hurhur, after which a burger king lunch was much required). trust me, being part of the wedding reception team is no mean feat, but i think it was fun, especially so if you know some of those people coming to the wedding. and so, with all the YARRRRRM... SENG!s that came along with every traditional wedding, i have once again, lost my normal voice to sexay-ness hurhur (testing testing).

zzz my new spects is making the ground look like it's rising, and the room look like it's extremely round, and my ear hurts from the new setting. hopefully i'll get used to it, though i think it's going to be a long way, since i've been with my old spects for 3 years (yeah, even i surprised myself with that revelation).

and after everything...

2009-12-19T15:26:00.002+08:00

i realise i haven't written here in ages. been busy catching up with sleep and korean variety shows heheh. but let's get on to all the camps hurhur. for the first time in my entire life, i had a whole week of camps. well, zy beats all of us hands down, since he's got another one on now haha.

so first off, there was music ministry retreat. all i can say is, it was a really great time getting to know all of you guys. and it's funny, the little ironies of life. i applied the most sunblock at sentosa, and i got the most burnt. then when we were KTVing, i sang and screamed the least, and i was the one who lost my voice. SIMI LAI LEH. goodness, in fact, i still have the sexay voice.

and youth camp right after. i think everyone remembers me for the silent introduction during ice breakers haha. and funny, i got back my voice with a whole lot of water and strepsils. but well, the last night introduced sleeping at 4.30am, evil twisties, and the mrt game, which has left tons of bruises. obviously all the water forfeits drunk that night did not help much with regaining my voice, and my voice is now even more sexay compared to the beginning of camp. but it was fun, youth camp (: finally the first youth camp that i attended and am not in comm. funfunfun :D but honestly, zzzz, i think i can sleep an age now. the age really shows honestly haha, especially when it comes to stamina for the whole day haha.

alright, i can't decide if i should go watch my shows, or go crash a while. thank goodness service tomorrow is at 1.45pm hurhur.

blessed.

2009-10-18T23:28:00.003+08:00

a door with random bugs building nests in the peephole.
a car that takes us all to church at 7.30am every sunday (please check for petrol).
a television to stone in front of.
the sound system that comes along with it.

food that is always on the table.
(if it isn't, it must be hidden in the cupboards)
clocks all around the house.
(some of which are 5 - 10 minutes ahead of time)

mum that nags us all to dinner / fruits / juice / other sorts of edibles.
dad that tells you about 'the straight curve' the night before your o level maths paper
bro that irritates the heck with bangs of bach on the piano.
all 100% suan-able and 24/7 available.

i think i have a lot to thank God for.

to follow up to the previous post

2009-10-13T21:53:00.002+08:00

i just realized there's nothing to read for eu pol. whoots. and i'm done with psych id. sort of, at least the parts i need to do notes for. means i can start on the very long democ reading. KABLAAAAAAAAAAA!

on another note, korea has been reigning on my mp3 for the whole day / week / month hurhurrr

end of rest.

2009-10-11T23:18:00.003+08:00

and with that, BAM, week 8's over. relatively unproductive but restful week 8. i think my brain is thoroughly recharged with all the sleep and slack (double s haha) that i got. considering that i finished ipe readings with little problem in one day (and i'm done before 2am, amazing) was proof. and suddenly i remember i have a wonderful free tuesday. like cher would say, "life rocks." count your blessings people whooooot~

so i guess my prayers were answered: for a renewed engine. i'm actually quite onz, so much so that i feel like reading eu pol even now, but heck, i know i'll forget it all by wednesday, trust me. so i'll tackle psych id or democ first, and hope i'll remember. i think eu pol is just more technical, so helps with the quiz if you read it a few hours before class haha.

on the other hand, i might get some sleep, or get down to some composing / writing for scarz+crew haha. muse usually kicks in about... NOW!

later (: AJA HWAITING EVERYONE!

i'm sleepy and hungry in church

2009-10-04T18:33:00.003+08:00

yes, i mugged after youth today haha. so i decided to get a headstart on my term papers, thus the decision to stay around and plan my essay. i think this is the earliest i've ever gotten to starting my term papers. comforting to know at least roughly what i want to write about (for the pol sci papers at least, i'm still clueless about the psych id one hurhur), challenge now will be to sit and actually flesh out all the ideas, and inertia is exceptionally high this year, i feel. but i think it beats reading actually haha. and at least the topics are interesting to write on haha.

so now after staring at the laptop screen for almost 4 hours, i feel like my eyes are going to pop out, and my brain is about the burst. but i feel accomplished. somewhat haha. but i'm really sleepy, and dinner at bedok calls haha.

fun fact about travelling from kembangan to bedok: by bus, it takes 12 mins, and costs 69 cents. by mrt, it's 9 mins (but im sure it's shorter than that) and it's 68 cents, ONE CENT CHEAPER, and a more comfy ride. WHAT! IS! THIS!

as cliffy replied, THIS! IS! SPARTAAA! hahaha.

alright, bedok by mrt, here i comeeee :D

sleep sleep sleep

2009-10-03T23:52:00.002+08:00

so i went to zz at 2am on thursday, woke up at 1.30pm on friday *applause for hitting all time new record* then, at almost 1am, i went to sleep again. and on today, i woke up at 11am *applause for hitting all time new record of number of hours spent sleeping*

okay, hopefully, this doesn't continue throughout week 8, because i have freaking a lot of things planned and freaking a lot of things to get throught. AJA HWAITING~ :p

would you believe it, i'm off to bed again :D i think i'm trying as much to set my body clock straight again haha. another thing to AJA HWAITING about haha. nightsss.

a short one before i go into hibernation

2009-10-01T23:57:00.003+08:00

yessss, my horror of 4 midterms is over. so i start my week 8 a little earlier than most people. GAMBATTE EVERYONE! anyhow, it was $#$@!%^ mad, those 4 days. i think as the time went on, i just got more and more and more zen haha, meaning i eventually stopped caring to a certain extent i think. i just hope that all the effort is not so much to waste. darn waste of pen ink and paper hurhur.

anyhow, i've got great ambitions for week 8. term paper starts earlier this time, since i don't have to tackle any more midterms. then there's quill to start worrying about (i think joanne is about to kill me hurhur). and there's also (i can't believe i'm sayin this) korean shows to watch. haha i seriously think their humour is a lot cleaner and light-hearted, and their variety shows are hilarious haha. not to mention, their songs make for good white noise while studying. and despite the number of times i've listened to their songs, i still cannot sing a word of it (unlike janna haha). the most i know: hello and goodbye in korean haha *bows* at least i'm polite haha.

okay bed! for once, i will require no wake-up call for friday. i shall ambitiously get up in time for lunch. hurhur :D

four days

2009-09-27T23:26:00.003+08:00

till thursday, i don't think i'll have a chance to be human. i'll be a zombie. 3 pol sci + 1 psych midterms, and a journal that i'll have to magick up by wednesday, not funny hurhur.

and if it doesn't get any worse, i'm actually depressed just looking at my notes, no matter how colourful they are. it's like, *looks* *head hits bed*. i think it's coupled with the sore 4 hours of sleep i got last night.

once again, i look forward to thursday, where my brain can officially rest. and i am sure, i don't really care, but i'm going to sleep in till noon on friday just to catch up with all the snooze i've been missing, and no wake-up call is going to make me rise from that.

so to solve the current dilemma: look at my notes and get depressed some more, or go watch youtube, get less depressed now, more depressed later during the paper. GG.

maybe some sleep is in order hurhur.

i'm back

2009-09-20T15:17:00.003+08:00

from being a mother for 2 days and 2 nights haha. i cannot imagine the first thing i thought of stepping into the service apartment (which rocks haha) was "must boil water". goodness haha.

leaders' retreat was fun, despite all the planning and the work. i think i enjoyed the last night most of all, with all the sharings and secrets spillings haha. but disclaimer: no pressure okay? for everyone haha. it's great that we can share, but i think it's important for the "no pressure" clause.

though one i think i learnt is that how we talk, and the need to talk, is very important. like zy would say, 2-way communication. and not only that, it has be carefully thought out before it offends / hurts anyone in anyway.

though i must say, it might be time to rethink for me. but oh well, i'll be around for next year at least anyway. sigh, lots of thinking. but thanks you for listening (thought i doubt you read this haha).

okay, tomorrow i sleep in and do ipe, eu pol, and psych id. thank God for the 3 days of retreat.

emo

2009-09-12T00:43:00.002+08:00

i'm burning out. i can feel it. i lack sleep. i eat freaking a lot. i don't feel like doing anything but stoning / watching youtube videos. i laugh at the most random times. i feel my brain fissures slowly getting wider, and wider, and wider. bit by bit, little by little. i actually feel emo. i need wake-up calls to get me out of bed. i feel like eating koko krunch (okay, that was random).

okay, psych id calls. i just needed time to... rant.

sweet stories for a rainy day (:

2009-09-06T21:57:00.002+08:00

haha 'nuff said. but it was refreshing, compared to poli science and psych *word diarrhea* JIAYOU! we'd all be watching and praying for you guys! :D

anyway, found another productive place to be to do readings: church. cool, going there to read the word of God, read the poli science. i'm always stuck with IPE, since that's the class on monday. bleahhhh

busy busy busy. sigh, i spent friday and saturday sleeping in, feels like the first real sleep that i've had in a long time. what with youth rally, readings, quill (which i really need to get my engine started on DON'T KEEL ME DICTATOR *bows*), and balancing it with entertainment from youtube. okay, so the latter is totally unnecessary, but hey, after spending 1245332 hours reading the same stupid paragraph from the same poli sci article before finally understanding it, youtube keeps you sane, really. the alternative would have been the equivalent of a bubble tea buffet, but i might have literally killed myself from overconsumption with that haha.

so life descends to such. sometimes i wonder if i live for myself or for others. i have no issue with living for others, but i guess that's what makes me treasure my friday's so much: OTOT. like i told leo the other day, i just need some time alone. sorry if i've been super anti-social since school started. i just think it was easier to get personal time during summer. on the downside, if i continue to hide any more, i might die a hermit, or an old biddy at best hurhur.

in other news, piano lessons have picked again, and it's fund and relaxing being the student again. sure i'll like to start teaching, but i just can't stand dealing with the other people involved in the entire endeavour (like p****ts). i mean, inevitable if you want them to be involved, but sometimes it gets tiresome. so this is a good break.

alright, i have to start panicking over eu regional policy. i'm prepared yet super unprepared.

tsk, i might just recline for a night of youtube hurhur.

it'd be nice to have someone. randommmm.

later.

school has started

2009-08-26T01:24:00.000+08:00

always a mother, big sister, best friend, never the lover. random thought of my life, but that's they way we roll. i've been wanting to write this down for a while anyway.

so school has started, and all i know of pol science and psych (i.e. the staying up until 4am reading these bunch of people) has begun. and i suddenly realise i have a lot of academic stuff on my plate hurhur. so much for dying to be back in school, i almost wish i was at the acm storeroom again hurhur.

okay, back to grabbe *sobs*

the past week.

2009-07-31T00:07:00.003+08:00

i'm glad the weekend's here. actually, it's going to he heck of a busy one. okay, i rephrase. i'm glad the week's over. almost.

i have never felt so dried up / drained in a long time. emotionally, as much as physically so. i think it's because i've bitten my lips so much in a bid to be strong / not cry the past few nights. might make things better for some, worse for others. i'm not sure what i'm supposed to feel right now.

so i look at the challenges ahead of me. and worry in the Lord haha.

alright, restful sleep beckons. i cannot KO on the office couch again.

an appropriate song for a time like this.

2009-07-28T00:19:00.002+08:00

You Hold Me Now by Hillsongs United
On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace
All my fears swept away
In the light of Your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free

Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone

No weeping no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now
You hold me now

In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your Name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day

Where the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone

No weeping no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now
You hold me now

For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your Name

sunday has arrived!

2009-06-21T19:20:00.003+08:00

LA DI DA, okay so amazing race did come and pass, and i finally have time on my hands for my next project: quill issue 2 *faints*.

anyway, it was a blast honestly. the stay-over the night before, stupid printer which couldn't print properly, the random jamming session at 3am in the morning, the macs brekkie, eating bar chor mee in church with the SAME people for the 1234563243 time, falling asleep randomly in the youth room beanbag (it is a sleep inducing bean bag i'm telling you, because amos spent almost 2 hours before lunch KO-ing on that same bean bag), and all the other EPIC FAIL and POOPOOHEAD moments. haha, loves.

so i've come to realise that although i get super annoyed planning up to the event, i eventually enjoy it after all. sigh, oh well, haha maybe the only way to get me to attend these events is to actually get me to plan them haha.

anyway, i'm in sore need of sleep, and HOME COOKED FOOD, and then i have to get cracking for the quill.

*FAINTS*

i sincerely cannot wait for sunday to be over.

2009-06-18T00:53:00.002+08:00

yes, i have never wished for something so much. it's so taboo to do so, i don't even know if i should be wishing in that manner.

note to self: never write beyond midnight.

work has been fun. i'm excited, finally getting down to the projects itself. more surveys, more data entry. man, i almost opened SPSS haha.

honestly, i can't wait for saturday to come, more like it. i've spent majority of my waking hours slaving over this shite, it have better turned out good. because if it didn't, frankly my dear, i don't give a spam. honestly, last minuteness works for some areas of planning an event, but not for others. not when you're trying to organize 70 odd people. no, not happening. why you even volunteered, i have no idea why. okay, biatch fest over. enough is enough.

so tiny. so scary. so fragile.
motivation. it's a sticky thing. it's one heck of a toughie. and i have to learn and cultivate it in more places than one.
it's a dogs life (:
so i pray that i can hold on, and not be worn out, God willing. because i can see the fruits of it all.

alright, bed.

monthly update!

2009-06-11T01:06:00.002+08:00

haha okay a short one before i go off to sleep.

so a lot has happened, and for the first time in the longest time, i was in malaysia for almost 1 week, and that's long for me, since i'm usually there for only the weekend and stuff. but it was an unexpected but fun week haha.

also, i'm done being the history teacher. miss the kids to bits, i really wish that lobang had come earlier, then i would have counted that as my internship haha. but anyway, i'm hoping they'll keep in contact.

so what have i been up to? INTERNSHIP. haha at the asian civilization museum (more history). it's been pretty fun these 3 days, see how a museum actually works. and my department is fun too haha. and the history i'm dealing with, i guess it's something a bit different from what i'm used to. so it's no longer the arab-israeli conflict, but more like erm, the indus valley civilization haha.

couple of interesting exhibitions to catch! one would be the kangxi one at acm at raffles place, which is closing super soon, so come! the other is baba bling, over at the peranakan museum, near smu. i got to go for the curator's tour, it was superb i tell you. anyway, just go okay. either way, if you've never been to the museum, also worth the trip haha.

okay, bed, i'm falling asleep over my research haha. and i have a super long day tomorrow.

so much for a bummer summer

2009-05-19T12:59:00.002+08:00

yes, i realise i wrote in the last post that i plan to nua around. well, it obviously didn't happen. in fact, i'm at work now, just on my lunch break, got to get back to the arab-israeli conflict real soon.

since last week, i've been at chinese international school, relief teaching for a month. it's english and history for me, so i've been pretty much pulling out my old secondary school and jc notes haha. well, i must say it's been fun. the students are thoroughly amused that this young twenty-something is teaching them. a vast change from their previous teacher, who's a guy married with kids haha. especially the grade 11's (that's jc one in local lingo), since there are a few of them that are actually born in 88 as well. one guy's even a month older than me =/ and they're shocked that i'm already done with my second year of university. time goes by a little slowly for them, i feel, and i hope that they'll be able to go faster. means i plan to finish the arab-israeli conflict by the time i leave, at least up till 1973, which i probably will accomplish, since they have 5 periods of history A WEEK, mind you.

either way, it means i won't have much of a break before my real internship starts, so that's going to be a toughie. and i'm super bogged down with quill and amazing race now, so it's almost as good as berserk time.

i realise, every summer, i tell myself that i'll have an easy one, take a break, nua my way around the next few weeks. i always end up doing something / a little too much. oh well, lifestyle, as i would tell my english classes.

alright i'm somehow pretty sleepy, after lunch syndrome, and i have to prepare for my last class of the day hehhhhh. later (:

PS: josh - relinked you.

i realise, i haven't been here in a long time.

2009-04-28T00:12:00.002+08:00

my my, i haven't written in ages.

well, i'm well, alive and kicking, and done with my 2nd year of uni :D hur, talk about growing old, the next thing i know, i'd be graduating and scrambling for a job.

life has been good. friends, old and new, are dear to me and have made life explicitly bearable. new people to run away from always make life more exciting pffffttttt. actually, 2 months has pretty much whizzed past.

i have to get the writing habit back. if you don't feel the tug to write, it must be bad. not like the muse has left me or anything, i have plenty to flesh out in words. just the absolute lack of motivation that's holding me back. and all the editing i probably have to do for quill real soon haha.

in other news, i've moved from rock to random electronic rock / almost pop. gosh, nsync has been rife on my playlists, followed by futuresex/lovesounds and chris cornell. utterly random, but i find it thoroughly disturbing that this is happening. must be a devolution back to adolescence (zomg! dev psych all over again!).

and i'll be bumming till june, since internship takes up my last 10 weeks of summer. and i have no idea what to do with it but wake up at noon (i just did today haha), bum and watch multiple episodes of whose line is it anyway (which will eventually run out, oh the horror), plan for amazing race, spend more time with the youth, and generally, nua around the house.

if you want to meetup, please PLEASE message me, i'm really quite free haha.

alright, i need to... find something to do haha.

if you feel emo, even while listening to michael jackson, it must be really bad haha.

2009-02-14T22:20:00.002+08:00

anyway, valentine's day was... gahhhhs. i spent it going about my love affair with sbs and smrt. from home to bukit timah, then home, then kembangan, then finally home... the only parts of singapore i haven't been to is like the extreme north. to think i almost had to go to sembawang...

so here's to all you people who spent it with our wonderful public buses and trains.

yes, happy valentine's day (:

cognitive dissonance at the extreme.

2009-02-13T00:26:00.004+08:00

mum says i don't let out my emotions enough, that i'm too forgiving.

clarke quay is one heck of a cursed station for me.

this is not the first time it's happened to me. the last time, it was darn christmas eve.

am i okay? yeah (i don't know).

what frustrates me the most is the conflict between being selfish and protecting your sorry ass, and being Christ's ambassadors. and half the time, because i choose the latter, i end up sacrificing my sorry ass. what frustrates me even more when the other party doesn't really get that you're this *holds hands as far apart as possible* upset, and 'sorry' seems to come all to easy.

i think i just about had enough. i made it through the last few years of my secondary school life alright. i can do the same now.

depending on people makes things too difficult. it complicates your life. but if you expect less of people, it makes you more forgiving (like i'm not enough already). hell, i'm going to be single for the rest of my life, lone as can be.

and i find myself, once again, traveling down the long, dangerous and windy road of lone ranger. it sucks, but it's safe, to some extent. you answer to no one but God.

every time this shite happens, i get worked up, have to control my own feelings for the next few hours, with thoughts of going home and being miserable, smiling as though everything is okay (which will be in a few moments, since i force myself never to hold on to too much).

miss independent. miss self-sufficient. miss keep-your-distance.

i'm done depending on people. i'm done ranting here too. like they'll ever read and understand. i listen to death cab for cutie and stone the night away.

one more note: thank you steph, janna, rachel and the others in church. you've never ceased to be dependable. if one cannot make it, the other will be there. i'd rather be in God's house then anywhere else. thank you (thought i doubt you guys will read this haha).

interlude.

2009-01-22T17:17:00.003+08:00

i can't stand selfish ingrates who only think of themselves half the time with little consideration for others. people who protect their ass first before protecting those who've helped them before. people who don't respond with advice but the casual "orh" or "up to you lor" when you're obviously asking for some form of opinion. whiners who whine up and down about how their gpa is going down when they're 3-something-pointers and the other party is wishing to pull their gpa up to 3. commuters who have utter disregard for announce and barge their way into the train, pushing those trying to squeeze out of the train back into the train.

(gosh, i've gone all the way to public transport, i must be crazy haha)

sigh, honestly, i'm tired of being all nice all the time and not getting what you want in return. i should be knocked on the head for this haha, since we're all self-centered, expedient and opportunistic (faints, IH / rise and fall terms are coming back o.O) at some point of our lives. but sucks when it all always seems to come from the same person, and the person just doesn't seem to realise it. pffftttttt. gahhhs if this goes on, i'll have to be a hermit, and that just contradicts the great commission. no wonder i hardly go online nowadays.

and i look to Him again, the author and perfector of our faith. WWJD? that was, is and should be my motto. speaking of which, this episode calls for QT, which i have yet to do for the day :P

okay, i'm done with the angsty interlude haha. trouble is, i get over things too quickly. curse or blessing? sighhhhh. anyhow, makeup classes, psych readings, and relationships call. so God made us all social animals, better learn how to manage it haha.

woooooo i'm high!

2009-01-19T00:14:00.002+08:00

i surprise myself sometimes. i thought i'd never get through the work due monday, but i somehow managed. driven by desperation, i suspect hurhur.

for the record, i've been high a lot. it started yesterday 1am, when i was figuring out dictator's super long and complicated excel formula. and when i started being in awe of excel, it was certainly time for bed. what could possess you to be high on CAT, seriously haha. but so far, i think excel has tons of cool shite that i've yet to discover.

on a sidenote, further evidence that we're all going insane was jeremy's email, asking for help to take notes / inform him of important stuff for monday's class when the only class we shared for this term is on tuesday. hurhur, well i was high, so i found it rather amusing haha.

then, when i got my many months belated birthday presents from janna and steph (which i maintain, was utterly RANDOM haha), coupled with the serious lack of sleep, and the fact that one was a super cute TOTORO coin pouch, the other was that wooden sheep that would go baaaa 6 times in a sheepy tune everytime you pushed that button, i was high again, laughing for a full 5 minutes haha. and i was high again over lunch.

and after all the highness, i'm super tired. the bus ride back home from siglap, only 2 things can be concluded: 1) my butt probably morphed into a square / disappeared, for all you know, on the butt-numbing 1-hour ride home, so much so that i even preferred to walk in to my house rather than be lazy and take another bus haha, and 2) when i got up from dozing off, the lady sitting across me had suddenly turned into a guy in the distance between harbourfront and PSA building o.O i thought i was hallucinating haha.

alright, bed bed! but i'm actually high from fruits heehee :D lalala i think it's the sense of achievement from having ploughed through all my work for tomorrow. thanks be to Him!

3-day week :D

2009-01-08T23:03:00.002+08:00

so much for worrying about not being able to get texts. i got everything by wednesday. well, almost everything, just CAT, but that's debatable haha.

anyhow, looks like i'll be sticking to 5 mods in the end, seeing that i've gotten the hcm text hurhur. but i'm already reading myself to death, and i'm nowhere near completion, i tell you. i'm so doomed haha.

mum mentioned today that chicken pox is partially caused by stress. looks like i've been living the very un-stressed lifestyle haha.

anyhow, school's been fun. it's funny, rushing from 8.30am class to another 12pm class doesn't seem as stressful as rushing from a 12pm class to a 3.30 class. i think it's a distance. believe me when i say it's better. i might even eat less, since there's no time for a proper lunch and sandwiches / subway has to suffice, and become my best friend haha.

the new year also spelled another trip to the airport, this time to send rachel off (again, actually). it was better this time. i think the last time we did it, i'd just lost too much, it was too tiring. but yesterday was good (: and i await christmas to roll by again (:

alright, i'm utterly random, no flow no nothing. later.

school starts tomorrow!

2009-01-04T22:41:00.003+08:00

and i'm utterly disturbed that i'm in a relatively holiday-ish mood. everyone on msn is already rushing readings, i haven't even got my texts yet. and i'm not the slightest bit worried. i'm only worried about whether to drop hcm and get more sleep or not haha.

anyhow, i'm quite excited. i'll be literally living between sis and soss this term, unless some unfortunate meeting happens to occur at biz or the library. and i love my timetable muchly. these 3 day weeks are rubbing off to me. only drawback is the monday-tuesday CNY holidays, which means i'm probably going to spend a hell lot of my saturdays in school making up classes pfffftttt. and i'm already planning my next term's timetable, also 3 day week teehee.

alright, i need to get off and get some normal sleeping hours, it's a early start to a long tomorrow. i purposely shagged myself out today, so that i'll sleep properly hurhur. nights.

this is in sore need of an update.

2008-12-31T17:44:00.003+08:00

i've picked up writing in a physical journal again, and i've been away. hence the super long hiatus. anyway, not much readership here in the first place anyway haha. writing for writing's sake again.

so the holidays have been pretty good. so much so that i almost forgot to go check up on textbooks and stuff, and will probably not get any so-called preparation done in time for school. in fact, i have a feeling that my engine will take so long to start this term, so much so that i'm already considering dropping one module, and term hasn't even started yet. i must be crazy. or on the verge on insanity hurhur.

so the extended / super-long stay in malaysia was a good time away. funny, when i was in kay el, i couldn't wait to get back to singapore. now that i'm back here, i rather be back in penang eating myself silly. i must say, this was one of the more enjoyable trips up, since i got to do stuff that i wanted to accomplish, meet up and chat with old friends, have some time alone to myself, play with my cousins who've all grown up (making it more atas fun, so called). and of course, eating myself silly. staying in penang beyond 3 days is highly dangerous. imagine, before we even got to the island itself, we were already eating at bidur (it's a tiny town on the way up). insane i tell you, but it was super fun.

christmas was crazily quiet. apart from the day that i was down at orchard (23rd i think). that night started out super wrong and annoyingly but turned out alright. phew, impulse is bad. and thanks you all for listening and understanding (:

alright, i've been bumming around a lot. i'm super lazy to get out of the house, which kind of explains my 3-day a week time table, which i love and hate at the same time. and i've got to go for another TAITEEEEEE / BRIDGE party (is loveeeee) haha. so, have a great 2009 people (:

it sucks to be me!

2008-11-26T21:55:00.002+08:00

sucks that people have one more paper left, and you're just done with one paper.

sucks even more when your group's on duty and you're going to be the only one there. sucks even worse when you have a perfectly legitimate reason to not be there, like it's your mother's birthday, but you're going to be there anyway, because you originally forgot that it's your mother's birthday, and you're the leader, and you've been planning everything anyway. sucks the most when your mother is so calm about it all.

what makes it all worse is when sop songs are playing on your mp3 list and you suddenly feel crying.

gahs, the minute i write here, it becomes emo central. i need to start my written journal again. either that, or everytime i choose to write, my pms is in full swing or something.

i can't wait for 13 december, when i'll be away from it all. i might even decide to not bring my phone, just to escape.

alright, i'm gonna eat oranges and read more ethics. thanks and sorry for listening.

i'm high because i just had ice cream half an hour ago :D

2008-11-14T00:57:00.002+08:00

and i realize, everyone's moved on with life, and i should too.

i feel like i'm just floating about. bahhhhhhs.

okay, i'm listening to old soppy love songs again, which is not a good sign o.O i mean, if i've gone all the way back to simply red, my brain must have shut down! haha. it is like comfort food to the ears and the soul haha.

and i somehow lost my train of thought. just that i'll be burying my life into the books (hopefully). haha. and it starts tomorrow! :D wheeeee!

festival of (torch)lights

2008-10-27T17:40:00.001+08:00

miss saigon is one heck of a emotional crunching musical to listen to while considering your career plan and writing essays. the kind you can listen to over and over again. the magic of schonberg i tell you. same goes for les miserables.

anyhow, it's strange when you're rather behind in work and you're super calm about it, watching old anime episodes and playing word challenge. oh well, i've been getting calmer and calmer about it as the years go by haha. by year 4, i'll be laughing my ass off when i have too much backlog work haha.

and now, back to the second world war. okay, mabye word challenge, one round, that's it haha.

i'm in class haha

2008-10-20T11:14:00.002+08:00

and this is self-entertainment.

credits to stripgenerator.com

le moment pathetique.

2008-10-17T01:08:00.003+08:00

i don't write in a long time and when i feel like it...

there is so much i want to tell you, but i don't know how. it's like i've closed up a whole lot (which i probably have), and even pictures don't say much, no matter how many thousand words they're supposed to convey.

i told myself not to be so forward, especially after all that's happened (ironically, it was this that triggered it hur). but sometimes i hate myself for not being so forward. then again, it's socially inappropriate (forrest's sacred and profennnn suddenly comes to mind o.O), at least in my point of view. i think i don't know how to handle it. i think that's what happened the last time.

for some reason, i feel like playing merry christmas mr. lawrence on my piano now, or some chopin piece, but it wouldn't do, it's almost 2am. listening to it doesn't help either.

... i write this sort of emo (man, i honestly wouldn't have used this word under normal circumstances) shite.

thank goodness for avenue q hurhur. and for You.

The More You Ruv Someone from Avenue Q

Kate Monster:
Why can’t people get along and love each other, Christmas Eve?

Christmas Eve:
You think getting along same as loving?
Sometimes love right where you hating most, Kate Monster.

Kate Monster:
Huh?

Christmas Eve:
The more you love someone,
The more you want to kill ‘em.
The more you love someone,
The more he make you cry

Though you are try
For making peace
With them and loving,
That’s why you love so strong
You like to make him die!

The more you love someone,
The more he make you crazy.
The more you love someone,
The more you wishing him dead!

Sometime you look at him
And only see fat and lazy,
And wanting baseball bat
For hitting him on his head!

Love

Kate Monster:
Love

Christmas Eve:
And hate

Kate Monster:
And hate

Christmas Eve:
They like two brothers

Kate Monster:
Brothers

Christmas Eve:
Who go on a date

Kate Monster:
Who....what?

Christmas Eve:
Where one of them goes,
Other one follows
You inviting love
He also bringing sorrows

Kate Monster:
Ah, yes.

Christmas Eve:
The more you love someone,
The more you want to kill ‘em.
Loving and killing
Fit like hand in glove!

Kate Monster:
Hand in glove.

Christmas Eve:
So if there someone
You are wanting so
To kill ‘em.
You go and find him.
And you get him.
And you no kill him.
‘Cause chances good

Both:
He is your love.

and i pray everyday, God give me wisdom and due dilligence in living my life for You. and maybe insert a silent request, God just show me already? haha.

it's been a while hur.

2008-10-05T22:43:00.003+08:00

and so a few things have happened. people left and people came, but that's not the focus of the entry. i'm over it, but i do wish you knew my Jesus. and i pray i'll see you in glory when we all go up to see Him.

oh yes, week 7 brought a few new things into life haha. for once, i stayed back in school, and while waiting for my parents at soss, they security guard began closing the shutters and all o.O and if pascal orange crocs left school earlier than me, it must be some day haha. so the next level would be having an unofficial overnighter in school haha. and by unofficial, i mean in a non-camp condition hur. there was a point of time when i was tempted to call someone for tau huey haha. that's how deja vu the moment of midnight was haha.

i ramble! haha, doesn't help when you write with the hairspray soundtrack in the background haha.

so that's one presentation down, one mid term down, as of the end of this week. and i think i've gotten immune to school madness, i don't feel relief per se with the end of presentations and stuff. i'm just, uh, uhhhh, for lack of a better word haha.

in line with the muggerish theme (which is sort of fading away, i've fallen so far behind with my readings, i'll never catch up haha), i gave up botanic gardens, and spent the evening editing reports, APA-ing my references for rise and fall, and doing all the other things i've been meaning to do. and it's 11pm and i'm still feeling on the roll, but sort of lazy haha.

so mid term break is here, and i'm packed to the max with meetings, both the academic and relaxed kind. even my sunday's planned, and i'm looking at the little squares in my planner and go o.O gush, every square's filled. insane stuff.

alright, i think i'll go slack now haha. so much for hardworking. but there's 10am ethics to deal with tomorrow, so toodles. hur.

i just woke up and it's 10am.

2008-09-19T10:01:00.003+08:00

okay not really, i got my brekkie, so it's not just woke up then. speaking of brekkie, i feel like eating some more food, but that'll have to wait till lunch hurhur.

so in a jiffy, 2 weeks have passed again! haha this is turning into a fortnightly magazine haha.

so my entire last week was burned up by jia's farewell 'feast', meetings galore, and not forgetting the steven tong rally, which was something. i mean, from an english congregation and having to be in a chinese gospel rally with such cannot-make-it chinese, it was good haha. but the choir (i was singing in it, in not only english, but chinese and latin as well! o.O) was super, the message even more super. a pity it wasn't full house. kinda like the opposite of the august FOPs, since that's hillsongs and the english congregation is generally bigger. but then again, it's hillsongs. so half the people there prolly go for the hillsongs bit. i think that's what sort of threw me off, the meaning of the entire thing. sure, the worship is super dynamic (so much so that i wonder what passion will be like haha), but... ah well, i shan't debate worship styles here. it's too early in the morning.

and my entire this week was burned with meetings, churning outlines / reports / whatnots at the weirdest times of the day, and a lot of sleeping o.O irregular sleeping, i might add. and shoe buying hahaha *loves :D and not forgetting, the mini lunch-tiu tiu tiu session over monday lunch with the bondies and the post-twc lunch crowd. was great seeing all of you! :D

and next week looks like it's going to be burned the same way. even the weekends aren't spared sigh.

oh yes, i'm teaching again. just got 2 students for the piano, so it's a sort of income. but i'm kind of thinking of it more on the internship / experience side, if i really do go into the diploma. then the unfinished dream of music therapy might just come into play hurhur. that'd be something.

on the side note, i've been telling people of my aim of being muggerish this term, all the in the name of pulling up gpa. well, i'm losing steam bit by bit. it happened the last few terms, where i stopped reading altogether because of urgent writeups and group projects. now i'm so behind, i don't know where to start. or if i should even look at the backlog. man, talking like the muggerish! haha. anyhow, i'm still going to try and be muggerish. i've been so insane, that i actually did a pascal and planned my entire academic life in smu already. so i know almost exactly what i want to bid for every term, ceteris paribus. oh well, it's good that i actually planned hur.

on the other hand, i want to go watch avenue q, but it's during project rushing week. sigh.

alright, the day has to start (maybe with second breakfast haha). till then, i'm still being mugg-- oooooh! bamboozled! text twirl! FACEBOOK!

haha later.

two weeks.

2008-09-06T12:52:00.003+08:00

so in a blurry of the moment, 2 weeks zoomed right past, and i sort of didn't even notice it. i think i've been living more in terms of days and hours, rather than weeks or months as a whole. good that the week sort of passes faster in a sense (so much so you don't even notice it's gone). bad that quite a few weeks have passed, and assignment deadlines suddenly come to mind.

and so much for 2 free days to catch up on readings. i've been burning them at school all the same. kind of anticipated it but i was fervently hoping it wouldn't be true (cues song 'say it isn't soooo'). i think i'm still in semi-summer mood, with the attitude to nua like free, but that's not going to work, so back to readings i go haha.

at least besides mugging and rushing readings, there's still the really cool blue friends (man, i just realised i quoted pingu's entire email haha) to look forward to. last last monday was spent coming up with uber cool names for the dma group (mr TA, Prof, anomaly and _________). last last tuesday was spent discovering rachel had cut her hair (so much so i couldn't recognize her haha) and talking about the number of kids we all wanted (and planning future dg outings with a total of 20 kids in mind, we'd need a mansion or botanic gardens haha) over dinner at the cool 99 cents per plate of sushi place. and of course, before that, there were the cheesy spicy fries over rise and fall (kinda descriptive of my brain during that lesson too). last last thursday was spent discussing ethics (gahs) and before that, eating really expensive chicken rice near the wonderful wonderful tao huay stall, with pascal and uncle cliffy. and last last friday was a memorable dinner, where we attempted to cook NINE eggs at seoul garden, put ruixiang on the get-fat-with-soo-lan program, pressure cook veges with xt, and not forgetting, singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY a thousand and one times. and saturday of the same week was spent running from pasir ris, to church, to newton, to home. sunday was even funnier in a strange way haha.

wahhhh an entire paragraph of last last week. this week was erm no better haha. the absolute nua-idontwannadomyreadings week. ohhh, but we tried treehouse on monday, which has absolutely good food, and made plans to check out screme this coming monday. wednesday and friday were dedicated to 'cool stealth s**t', while mr TA and yours truly were teasing Prof like nuts haha, and thursday was another lunch and post-lunch ethics arguing haha. thank goodness for today, where i take a breather, and actually stay at home the whole wonderful day.

oh, and from mr TA's introduction, i've been listening to sakamoto ryuichi a whole lot and running after piano sheet music again (Prof just mentioned that it was too early for christmas haha). i've missed japanese and modern pieces. and jazz. chillout and jazz. loves. and a random thought, but i've gotten hooked on bamboozled as well haha.

alright, devotion to studies (wowwwww) is kicking me again, and i shall try and catch up with all those readings. with the pianist beside of course haha.

butterstick and toast.

2008-08-25T22:03:00.003+08:00

no, it's not in response to the king toast show today haha.

anyway, school's been... quite okay, i must say (: i'm kinda enjoying being back in lectures and group meetings (which somehow always end up with us all laughing ourselves stupid), and being buried in readings again. must be the summer job that has made studying all the more interesting and having greater returns. and not forgetting the company, that rounds up everything and makes it all cool (: you have no idea how much i appreciate you guys, thanks one and all (:

i think the only thing i miss about summer is the sleeping hur. readings is eating into my sleep time, and doesn't help if i always get distracted by an invisible mambo disco ball that resides in my room, a pair of crazy mexican guitarists, and sometimes, an entire orchestra even. random introductions to my playlists aside, the seemingly endless time has been replaced by the seemingly endless readings. give me another week, and i think i'll start falling asleep on my textbooks soon. it was a regular occurrence prior to summer haha.

something else: lix and i can't help of thinking about brushing our teeth whenever we go to the third floor soss toilet haha. talk about post-camp syndrome haha.

okay, i have to stop talking about summer haha. speaking of which, it's been raining cats and dogs the past few days, kinda makes me think of summer rain haha. alright, i need to go start on rise and fall readings, which might just put me to bed, but we'll see how (:

end of summer 08

2008-08-17T00:13:00.003+08:00

the sudden dawn of readings (and the increased stress levels) spelled the end of summer. and dang, it was one heck of a short summer, considering that i worked most my summer away. thank goodness for the one extra week to nua at home. else i don't i could have been really prepared.

anyhow, new term, new aims. i really hope it's not another one of those times where i've set goals and then proceeded to rightfully nua about them. sure, i want to enjoy study life. honestly, after this summer's work experience, i feel like studying forever. the fact that i'm at the mercy of profs and exams just lessens the desire to do so, so i guess i'll take it around the middle. hopefully the internship/s i go for give me a better view of the working world.

well, having started on my readings and completed a few is a good way to start the term, albeit a bit prematurely. haha with a really cool timetable to look forward to as well, i think and hope for the best, the i'd love this term haha.

looking back, i think i couldn't have asked for a better summer. matt's wedding (MASS MOBILIZATION HAHA) sounds like such a long way off (by the way, i sincerely hope that the air purifier is working okay still haha). job offer before i ended my finals, to finance my summer activities, like social science camp, social science outings, social science volunteer treats. best of all was the whole V event, which was da bomb. lots of new friends, and more people whom i can sell my textbooks to HAHA. but no no, above all, FRIENDS. teehee :D and not forgetting, taiti (dang, asshole pfffftttt), bridge, TIU TIU TIU, and not forgetting, tao huey / supper buddies. i gotta stay in school later more often haha.

so, being the sentimental nonsense i am, here's cheers to the end of the summer of 08, to take a leaf out of bryan adam's book, or CD sleeve, if you like.

Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams
I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it 'till my fingers bled
Was the summer of 69

Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Joey got married
Shoulda known we'd never get far

Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenin's down at the drive-in
And that's when I met you yeah

Standin' on your Mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life
Back in the summer of 69

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever - forever, no,yeah

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Sometimes when I play that old six-string
I think about you, wonder what went wrong

Standin' on your Mama's porch
You told me that it'd last forever
Oh when you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life, oh yeah
Back in the summer of 69,uh-huh
It was the summer of 69,o yeah, me n my baby in 69
It was the summer, the summer, summer of 69

alright, later man. haha BURNNNNN!

interlude.

2008-07-31T21:27:00.004+08:00

listening to radiohead on a long bus trip home makes you emo. guess that's why i'm listening to random classical stuff. much less emo.

need to stop opening up to too many people too much. it won't be good in the long run. it cannot be.

i wish it'd be easier though. i wish You'd be easier on me too, but that's not going to happen. not just yet.

oh well, it was never meant to be. thank You God.

alright, emo interlude over. i think i'll be okay.

it must be the job, the situation, these few days, the shocks.

i need to go back to Him.

:D random happy :D

social science camp 2008 -- V

2008-07-26T00:24:00.004+08:00

so it's all finally over, after 4 nights, 3 days, 2 mock camps, 1 retreat later. and we all thought it would never end. but it finally did, so that's somewhat not the point of this post. and since i can't be all wax lyrical at 1am in the morning, 2 days after camp's already ended, i shall once again, make the dangerous decent into narrative and rambling garbarra.

so camp for all the faci's started with the extra night and the faci-subcomm dinner, which was darn expensive pizza of lousy quality. but it was really the company that really mattered i guess. for one, since when has subcomm and faci eaten together. and it was probably the final time of only faci and subcomm around school in fbt shorts and t shirts. so dinner was important. then came the highlight of the night: TAO HUAY!!! joy upon joy, it was a serious mass tao-paoing session. it was INSANE i tell you. i can't even remember the numbers already. but thank goodness for volleyball's car, which was packed with tao huay on the way back to school haha. and then some people started watching some really gross movie, so horrifying it didn't need sound to freak 5 year old bambam out. and for once, in a rare moment, it was a silent, non-teeth grinding night, because pascal couldn't sleep FWAHAHAHA

morning of day 1 came, and it was time to meet the freshies! i think one amazing thing i saw was how easily everyone gelled together. they all just started talking (i didn't even have to start a TIU TIU TIU game okay). maybe it was the pre-camp dinner, but people who didn't go for it were cool too (: from TIU TIU TIU, to captain's coming, the banana dance, and kaching, i think i can easily say, by lunch everyone pretty much was bond-ed, to poke a pun haha.then came the running all around station games, complete with iron chef, and my favourite, the CATWALK at the kopitiam! haha. the outfits looked so much better, compared to the nonsense we came up with during mock camp haha. post dinner was even better, where i went off to play bridge / get kidnapped, and the clowns had to guess me by the toes haha. but it was fun stuff (:

then came day 2's damn shiong amazing race! memorable moments include the anti-jaywalking song, the museum's aircon vents, the SUPER worms, squatting on the beach with a bucket on my head, and of course, my first SMU jump! :D haha. night was even better, where the greatest motivation was the BATHS, and the camwhoring session at the end of everything. and who can forget, the MASSIVE karaoke session, where we found out samuel's secret talent of memorizing every single line of lyrics. i cannot wait to post the video on facebook hahaha. and of course, 3am suppers, and laughing at leoTARDED's antics / sleep talk until 5.30am haha.

final day started off hilarious, with the faci's being absolute camwhores who taupok each other in the attempt to get into the photo haha. and of course, the relay with the all-time favourite sleeping bag race :D then it got messy with us protecting V, then proceeding to taupok him and rolling miliman around in the mud as well haha. and the last night atas dinner was even better, with lots of talents sprouting, and mambo at the end in front of a glass window where everyone could be seen from the bus and the museum across the road haha. and of course the PANTYHOSE WARRRRRS!!! haha
so ends another chapter in my smu life, and one i really really really enjoyed. not only the fun, the camwhoring. but also the company, and the really great friends i got to make and got to know better. I LOVE SOCIAL SCIENCE. you guys are an amazing bunch, and i haven't had this much fun in ages (: even today's post camp lunch hasn't lost it's flavour. and i foresee, the group's going to be together for a long while. the way my group stayed the same (:

on a side note, lunch today was great, seeing all the familiar faces and being TIU TIU TIU-ed to death again -.- dark knight was superb as well, worth the money that i paid for it.

and now that TIU TIU TIU girl has become a household name (like that was the initial goal of the entire thing in the first place =x) and camp's over (like i wanted it to end haha), i face the reality waiting at that place that i stepped in. as well as meeting tons of people for lunch.

i can't wait for school to start.

food cravings.

2008-07-13T00:08:00.002+08:00

in the aftermath of one week of leave from work, i can only say it was good aftermath haha. but let's start from where life left off.

friday night after alumni was spent playing with bubble wrap and styrofoam peanuts haha. it was good getting to know all the kids who we hear about and see running around. sunday was the 5678 concert (nooo, it's not some new boyband) at SCH, which was quite good i must say. acband standards have been ever rising, or mine have been ever dropping. but i think they're getting better (: and the monday after the concert, i went to the airport for the 123453453480980 time to eat popeye's again and send the kids off (: almost made me wish i had gone to switz. but like small dave said, we'll save and go backpacking some day (:

the first 3 days were spent at matriculation. asking (and subsequently scaring) freshies if they were from social science ("is that part of econs?" "sorry, business / accountancy / law" "kthxbye"), getting kidnapped with toilet paper (eh, it had chloroform okay, don't pray pray hahaha), turning the sr into some sort of stock market on day 2, turning the booth and the sr into some sort of gambling den ("taiti or bridge?") on day 3 haha. it was fun stuff (:

then came mock camp 2, where i FINALLY got my delicious tao huey :D happy happy happy! haha a time of testing games, more bridge and taiti, picking out places for the group to slack (like the museum's super aircon vents haha), eating more good food like lor mee haha. and of course, more teeth grinding courtesy of pascal (cliffton: "oh my, i actually heard it last night"), and a new theme song for v ("lulu, skip to my lu" complete with actual skipping). haha i can't wait for the actual camp, tho i kind of think i'll enjoy the mock camps better, since i erm spent half the time laughing and encouraging people to play TIUTIUTIU, which, i maintain, is super fun as an ice breaker haha.

alright, i'm just about done here. talk about boring monologue. i'm waiting till school starts, gets boring, and i'll find something intellectual to write. on a final note...

CONGRATS TO ACJC CONCERT BAND!
:D

and after a long while

2008-07-01T23:49:00.002+08:00

i think it's the fact that i type and read too much at work. terrible, i've seemed to have lost the kick to write. i should go back to reading a lot of fiction again. hopefully the school term will kick start the engine to write haha.

anyhow, the various boss bidding emails are out, and it kinda hits that, dang, it's almost the end of hols. yeah, there's still matriculation, 1 more mock camp, and 1 more actual camp to go through. but it just seems that not too long ago, i just started work, and that was in april. man, where did the last 2 months go?! oh well, i honestly cannot wait to go on leave for matriculation and mock camp next week, and i bet uncle cliffy feels the same hahaha. it's the way we go with welfare hur. and once the ever terrifying bidding is gotten over, i'll settle back to being once again, a student trying to pull her gpa up. not the admin temp forced to answer phone calls in dialects she CANNOT speak hahaha.

oh yes, after hearing rui's alarm 23446546098 times over mock camp one (and failing miserably to get up on the 3rd day for brekkie), i finally got an album by the verve, and they're pretty good. nothing as fancy as dream theatre. kinda like a cross between death cab (of which tickets were sold out by the time a certain ELF asked if anyone wanted to go grrrr) and radiohead, which just sounds really weird, but you'll get what i mean when you listen to all 3 bands haha. and it's not just bitter sweet symphony, it's most of the songs as well. haha i'm rambling again, but anyway.

it's quite strange. i look forward to about 2 to 3 things at work: 1) lunch, 2) going home and sometimes, 3) the funny person on the phone of the day. it's really... bittersweet, for lack of a better word. for once, i just want to stay home and sleep all day. i want to go about orchard walking aimlessly (nope, not looking for wally wang, that hardly counts), stone a lot, get out of singapore. depressing, and to think that i was so glad that i found a job to finance my erm food haha. and the last time i couldn't find a job, i was dying of boredom at home.

anyhow, today was a day of unexpected meetings as well. while going to lunch, i met another church member who happens to work 2 floors above me hahaha. and while going home, i met my ex-piano student's mom on the bus haha. first time i didn't doze off on the way home.

oh well, alumni band's going to be over soon, and i don't want to be stuck in the qm room again i think. one of the first to get there and one of the last to go home. it's fun, because after a while, you kind of know all the members finally, but it sucks because you're stuck being last to go home waiting for all the clowns to pack up haha. but i'll have my friday's a little freer then (:

alright, i cannot wait for mock camp 2, where i'll FINALLY and HOPEFULLY get to eat my TAO HUEY, which i have been craving for since mock camp 1. and my fellow teeth grinding tao huey buddy's prolly eating bowls and bowls of tao huey behind my back in hong kong (well, it does depend which way you're facing for hong kong to be at your back haha lame), along with many many rounds of dim sum. gahhhhs just talking about it makes me hungry, and being hungry just before you sleep is not good haha.

alright, bed for me, and sweet dreams of grass jelly, tao huey, muffins and prawn mee, all to the tune of bitter sweet symphony. haha sounds like everyone else's worst nightmare heh.

emo.

2008-06-19T23:48:00.002+08:00

Brothers On A Hotel Bed by Death Cab For Cutie

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I'm not who I used to be
No longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident

On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed we couldn't break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside.
And I have learned that even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men
Cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed

listening to death cab 1. puts you to sleep, and 2. makes you emo to some point haha. can't describe it, but it turns you emo. and it makes you fall asleep and miss your bus stop by just a bit more than just a marginal bit.

anyhow, mock camp's just over, and i thoroughly had tons of fun haha. oooohh, fun fun for freshies (note: alliteration)! haha hilarious really, some moments haha. from wardrobe comments (glow in the dark luminous green dry fit shirts; easy to spot in the dark orange crocs) to being obsessive gamblers (ASSHOLE taiti sigh; CONFUSED bridge) to eating nonstop (TOWHUAY; PRATA) haha... but if i were to describe it here (and so i did, to a certain extent), it'd just lose its BAM. so i shan't be BAMBAMING around about it haha. but it's gonna be super fun haha.

on the other hand, work has been traveling down the road along the lines of the law of diminishing marginal returns, but at least i have a job and that dreaded 80 hours off my head. i guess compared to the kindie, this job's terrible haha. but it's admin, what else.

and yet amongst it all, i must learn to fight it off. this terrifying chase. i know not how to handle it, i've never really had it. it scares me so, not just the mere subject of it, but of the subject involved in the subject. i want to ignore it, but i think if i do, i'll end up hurting someone, so i must learn.

talk about the random burst of cryptic random haha. it's been a while since i've done it. i think i need to start writing in the little physical book soon, so that all the cryptic rubbish can go in there and not befuddle anyone heheh.

okay, bed. it's another long day at work. and i feel like eating prawn mee / duck noodles (L!X is so gonna be proud of me haha). teehee :D

any goals in life?

2008-06-10T23:52:00.003+08:00

someone just asked me that.

i honestly cannot think of an answer right now.

especially for that someone who just asked me that.

i think i shall go to bed HAHA this is the most random post ever. so much for the supposed reflective title. i'll sleep on it i think.

hope i'm handling it the right way.

gahs.

2008-06-07T00:30:00.002+08:00

i think, to some extent, army makes guys a little more task oriented, a little less emotional, and a whole lot more tactless and maybe egoistic. of course, i don't speak for all guys who go through this certain rite of passage. i know plenty of guys who've kept their sanities and heart many years after NS. maybe i'm a little too emotional at the moment to comment on the general male population, but i know how NS has made some guys retarded. i'll say this for the moment. although i wasn't there to see it actually happen, but i got pi**** enough to actually make a few phone calls, of which i think i was rather tactful about. hurhur but like they always say, self praise is no praise. alright, i'm done with that.

work has been insane the last few days. 2 days leave and it's nuts. oh, socsci faci's retreat was quite fun anyway haha. met a lot more people in the faculty. haha we're a mad bunch haha. well, while i was playing my 2 days worth away, stuff happened at work. but it's been alright (haha! i'm just contradicting myself within the same paragraph!) haha. it's just scary on the afterthought. and considering the number of kuku things we did TODAY, haha i can safely say we're on the right track! teehee i'm blabbering already.

oh yes, watched narnia all over again. super stuff, all the soundtracks. i think it's even closer to me, since it's something i can relate to, and i really loved the books, much more than harry potter and the likes of it. though just one thing: telmarine accents are weird o.O haha

anyhow, i'm off to bed soon. many activities to do, since my parents are going to be away till monday and bro's at band camp. a whole house of peace and quiet to yours truly.

i haven't been here in a loooong time

2008-05-29T01:00:00.002+08:00

quick heads up to what's been going on:

1) i'm working already, full time. it's nothing like my previous job (nothing much compares to kindie you see haha). means lots of money and office work. one thing i do know: if i can help it as much, i'm avoiding office cubicle jobs as much as possible. nice aircon and all, but the environment's not as good. not quite what i had in mind. oh well, you never know.

2) i've been going back to alternative / classical music a lot lately, ever since going for chris botti sometime ago. listening to a lot of his stuff, and movie soundtracks, while the occasional obsession with david cook (how that came about, i wouldn't know man haha). plus with alumni band coming up again, i think i'll be spending more time with my classical roots this summer haha.

3) the GSS is hardly having any fun with me, since the only thing i've bought so far is a pair of ripples to replace my dying and disgusting-looking ones. in fact, most of my money goes to food (you CANNOT imagine how much i eat in a day, i'm telling you). like, a lot of money on a lot of food haha. oh well, as the carpenters say, it's only just begun haha. hope it gets better, i have a lot of things to replace in my wardrobe. kinda like a cycle thing you know, like you buy a lot of things one round, 4-5 years down the road, they all start giving way at the same time...

4) i can't wait for socsc camp stuff to start next week. chance to be back doing stupid things in school again. chance to get out of the office.

5) i haven't been updating because i stare at the computer at work enough everyday. i don't feel like doing much whenever i come back, apart from lazing around, "window" shopping online sometimes, and staring at the TV. ha, such a slacker haha.

alright, bed for me, it's going to be another looooong day at work soon.

so much for having too much time.

2008-04-30T22:01:00.002+08:00

haha i've started my cip / work already, so crap, so much for endless slacking till may. but i would have gotten bored anyway, so what better way to spend your summer holidays slaving away in an office cubicle! haha it's been mindless, awe inspiring, and gahhhhs (there is no better word i tell you) all at the same time, but it's been alright.

so wednesday was spent shopping (and i mean last wednesday). of all places my mum and i had to end up in, PS hur. ironically, that's where we both actually found something to buy haha

thursday and friday were spent in office cubicle bliss, so i shall hardly comment haha. but i hardly foresee myself enjoying work in the shenton way area, it is way too crowded. maybe i'll be a writer, and live in the suburbs or in recluse or something haha. like that's going to happen haha. not in the near future anyway.

the weekend wasn't much either, just a lot of time spent running notes up and down the piano for that uber hard piece for choir, which turned out okay in the end, with people actually mentioning the pianist for once haha.

so by monday, all my results were out and my gpa is quite satisfactory. i mean, keep it up or get my grades slightly better, and i'll be a normal kid in smu haha. then i can think about overseas exchange in year 3, since my gpa is now, i'm proud to say, a lot nearer to the cut off gpa for many of the universities that i want to go to.

tuesday proved way lot more interesting, with operation baguette and attempts at free cone day. food was good, company was good, intentions were good as well. i guess pol sci class was the nearest i could get to ngoei's history classes back in jc, minus all the horrific readings of course. whoever said history a levels won't get you anywhere. it proved really useful in posc 003. i might minor / take some modules in pol sci, just for fun. here's to a really good class and a really great prof who had enough dry wit and information to bring the classes alive.

so it's may day tomorrow. thank goodness. i think i've never appreciated this particular holiday enough. it's not till you're working that this may day makes so much impact on your life haha.

anyhow, just a thought. looking at all the cases so far, it's amazing how protected i've been all my life. i can't say much here, everything's confidential and sensitive. but despite the fact that it's just a lot of paperwork on my part, i'm learning about life a lot. like how fortunate we all actually are, and how much people are suffering, in that state, that is almost unimaginable in your own life. brings to mind this song, which has been on my repeat list a lot since i started working.

Scene Five: Through Her Eyes by Dream Theater
She never really had a chance
On that fateful moonlight night
Sacrificed without a fight
A victim of her circumstances

Now that I`ve become aware
And I`ve exposed this tragedy
A sadness grows inside of me
It all seems so unfair

I`m learning all about my life
By looking through her eyes

Just beyond the churchyard gates
Where the grass is overgrown
I saw the writing on her stone
I felt like I would suffocate

In loving memory of our child
So innocent, eyes open wide
I felt so empty as I cried
Like part of me had died

And as her image
Wandered through my head
I wept just like a baby
As I lay awake in bed

And I know what it`s like
To lose someone you love
And this felt just the same

She wasn`t given any choice
Desperation stole her voice
I`ve been given so much more in life
I`ve got a son, I`ve got a wife

I had to suffer one last time
To grieve for her and say goodbye
Relieve the anguish of my past
To find out who I was at last

The door has opened wide
I`m turning with the tide
Looking through her eyes

oh well. more that 70s show haha. or maybe a movie tonight.

it is true!

2008-04-23T00:21:00.007+08:00

yes, i really do have too much time on my hands! considering that my posting frequencies are going up and up hurhur. and it can only go higher haha. i should be working on manny soon, but so much has been happening since liberation, real life has been a lot more interesting than fiction sooo hurhur

anyhow, i'll just launch into much-hated narrative, since there's no better way to capture it. themes just don't go, since it's one huge theme named freedom haha.

monday was spent running around actually haha. first the rsvp meeting for matt's wedding at din tai fung (which i finally can spell correctly and with great accuracy *beams) and then the 10 minute dash to soss for a 9 minute faci interview (i'm talking by the minutes, notice. matt's counting by the days to his wedding already. i have no idea what connection or significance that was but anyway haha), which was quite funny on hindsight, what with kids and alpha males haha. then a slow walk (if i ever walk slowly haha) to the admin building to meet the kuku clan. after which, on the way back (yes back, they hadn't finished on saturday haha) to marina square, we meet uncle cliffy, who decided to tag along. then there was this make-ruth-try-on-every-dress-in-every-shop madness, till we ended up at macs for fries (not forgetting diva haha) where edward joined us and we left like 5 seconds later haha. so monday was window-shop day, plus the extra joy and excitement of (YES) getting in socsc camp as faci, buddied with mr hotcakes (macs brekkie will be the theme haha). yes, my july is superbly packed and complete. it's going to be one roaring summer haha. fun fun fun! :D

today's action came later. was supposed to snip snip but the hairdresser (NOT sweeney todd) wasn't around, so i'm going tomorrow (or rather, later today, as my clock tells me). so i popped down to see the kids at kindie instead, which was fun fun fun :D then lunch, that 70s show, piano, slack, chores, and out i was again for gelare half-price waffles day. you cannot imagine the number of times we had to choose our ice cream, everything but chocolate overload and low fat chocolate was out i tell you haha. then there was the mad queuing at carrefour for like 3 bottles of drink haha. then the mad walk ("are we there yet?" "no." "are we there yet?" "no." "are we there yet?" "NO!") to minds (waiter: "okay, so it's ladies' night, so all ladies get free boardgaming, whole table gets 1 free munchy, and guys, erm, pay $2 per hour." cliffy: "yes, well, i have no idea what i'm doing here but anyway..."), where we all lost our minds at mad gab and are you an idiot, our voices at snorta, our pieces at blokus, and more of our minds and our integrity at shadows of camelot haha. hilarious stuff i tell you, but any more ladies' night and my mum will keel me soon haha. i haven't gotten home at almost midnight in a long time, or almost never hur.

actually, now on hindsight, i realize, it's only been 2 days of activities! hur and there's more to look forward to, with the baguette party cum ben and jerry's free cone day, finally getting my hands on the threadless tee, mattsy's wedding, alumni band again, international hug a musician day haha. and of course socsc camp, which is why, on hindsight, it's really good that i decided not to go for switz in the end. more money to spend local and confirmed in socsc camp.

alright, i sound high and incoherent at the same time haha. but i haven't had this kind of insane yet safe fun in a long time haha. thanks you all haha. now with results coming out one by one, it's all these crazy things that keep me sane and keep my worries off my gpa (pleassse let it go up by a leeeetle bitty bit...) nights (:

eleutheria!

2008-04-20T00:05:00.002+08:00

haha it feels really weird to not be studying and having that same prospect for the next 4 months odd, i just hope i don't go retarded over it, i've been doing a lot of really stupid things lately haha. post exam trauma, i call it haha.

anyhow, i've rediscovered dream theater, and i've really forgotten how really cool it is just to appreciate their technical prowess (jordan rudess is DA man i tell you) and their smooth improvisation. really good, but too much in one day is overkill haha. their old songs from like the 1990s are more listenable to the new ear, i remember those are the ones ken lim introduced to me the first time he found out about my dream theater addiction. stuff like hollow years (live in budoken is DA live album i tell you), the spirit carries on, another day... cool stuff. haha i'm rambling! but if you want some good DT, let me know, i'll be more than happy to share some of the good ones (:

well, now that mugg club sessions are over haha, means less chances to discover all the nice food around school haha. insane man, the amount of cash i've been spending on food, what with waraku udon basins, nydc with the alumni band just now (talk about deja vu, the stupid dumb-blonde moments haha), brekkie at macs on wednesdays, and not forgetting bratwursts and impulsive tako-pachi balls haha. insane stuff, but i guess that was really what kept us sane during those nut times of mugging.

"why don't you just tell him?" "i just don't know how to go about it." but it was a good talk after bgs while waiting for the others. thanks for being there, you and you and you and kuku hee (: it's amazing how we've all grown so close over the span of 3 months, over hurried subway lunches, meeedwest aerhlines, and macs brekkie. much appreciated! (:

i do hope summer gives it time to blow over. alright, tired haha. nights (:

whoots!

2008-04-15T21:06:00.002+08:00

well, i'm officially halfway (and a bit more) through finals, woohoo! i've decided to take a few hour breather, else i'll feel terrible for mugg session tomorrow (not before brekkie! :D).

monday was just terrible, since i haven't had the chance to NOT finish a paper in a long time. like we were all saying, if we got a C for a closed-book exam, and we got another C for a open-book exam of the same subject, we must be REALLY retarded heh. AS just boggled the mind, mcqs were never harder, i say, but diagramming was alright. having 2 exams is not a good thing hur.

pol sci today was a lot better, thanks to the pol sci buddies, a funny examiner (seriously, the exam hall wasn't like one at all haha), and all you socsc people out there (: i think that's the best thing about small faculties, everyone knows everyone one way or another. kinda reminds me of ac arts haha.

well, i might actually get an early night, unless i find some stupid movie (aka superhero movie haha) to watch, but i doubt it haha, so i'll just settle for one episode of that 70s show hehh.

and in light of the current runnings, this is what i want to do. till later.

How To Disappear Completely by Radiohead

That there, that's not me
I go where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey

I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here, I'm not here

In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah, it's gone

I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here, I'm not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes

I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here, I'm not here

get the hint and leave please.

interlude.

2008-04-10T21:49:00.006+08:00

i have a term paper due tomorrow haha, but i'm only a few hundred words away. it's the pol sci discussion that worries me tomorrow. but i just opened the youtube vid that i got in my email, and i felt... compelled, for lack of a better word, the need to write. i hope this comes out coherently.

i'm from a brethren church, so unlike the charismatics, we sing from hymnals, i actually have more than chords to look at while i play for worship, and most of all, a lot of what we do comes from the Word. yeah, you can say we're very boring and traditional people, we bunch of brethrens, don't bother to grow in spirit, just grow in the Word. but that's where all the foundation comes. i mean, you need direction from God, but the Word is just as important, because it's from God.

that's why i was struck by what uncle ser choon said last week during the sermon, that it's good that we grow in BOTH the Word and the spirit. you let God lead you, but when you're in doubt, you pray AND look into the bible. i've never felt the Word so important before. i guess that's why i decided to lead s4g and all, because that's the best way to learn from the Word. one point, but i digress.

well, the youtube vid in question is this one: oprah exposed

i was a bit unnerved when i saw it. kinda just leapt out from the screen. i don't watch oprah, i don't have cable. but one line caught me, something oprah said that she couldn't agree with, that God is a God of love, a God of forgiveness, but "also a jealous God? He's jealous of us?" what, nonono, he's not jealous of us. i mean, this verse was just so misquoted i wanted to laugh at her for not looking at the context of the verse (it's in the 10 commandments by the way, exodus 20:5 to be exact). i mean, you take ONE WORD out of the whole verse, and condemn God that way? and you conduct book groups? gahhhhs, you need bible study man. haha or maybe you need to listen to your pastor a little closer o.O

i'm not one to write well when i'm defending my faith, i somehow get stuck on the spot, and by the time i get back with an answer, the question gets forgotten. but meeting new people, hearing their comments and conversations, i realize it's good that i'm in apologetics class this year with the youth, and that i'm in crusade and my dgl is the evangelism head (: i'm in so much need to grow in my faith and my confidence to speak about Him. i've also realized that i'm very fortunate to be in my small brethren church, grounded in the Word and in Him, both in perfect balance. oh Lord, i pray, let me be a good example for all around me!

"Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness."
- Acts 4: 29 -

at least i know i'm quoting in context hur (: alright, back to work.