17.10.08 le moment pathetique.

i don't write in a long time and when i feel like it...

there is so much i want to tell you, but i don't know how. it's like i've closed up a whole lot (which i probably have), and even pictures don't say much, no matter how many thousand words they're supposed to convey.

i told myself not to be so forward, especially after all that's happened (ironically, it was this that triggered it hur). but sometimes i hate myself for not being so forward. then again, it's socially inappropriate (forrest's sacred and profennnn suddenly comes to mind o.O), at least in my point of view. i think i don't know how to handle it. i think that's what happened the last time.

for some reason, i feel like playing merry christmas mr. lawrence on my piano now, or some chopin piece, but it wouldn't do, it's almost 2am. listening to it doesn't help either.

... i write this sort of emo (man, i honestly wouldn't have used this word under normal circumstances) shite.

thank goodness for avenue q hurhur. and for You.

The More You Ruv Someone from Avenue Q

Kate Monster:
Why can’t people get along and love each other, Christmas Eve?

Christmas Eve:
You think getting along same as loving?
Sometimes love right where you hating most, Kate Monster.

Kate Monster:
Huh?

Christmas Eve:
The more you love someone,
The more you want to kill ‘em.
The more you love someone,
The more he make you cry

Though you are try
For making peace
With them and loving,
That’s why you love so strong
You like to make him die!

The more you love someone,
The more he make you crazy.
The more you love someone,
The more you wishing him dead!

Sometime you look at him
And only see fat and lazy,
And wanting baseball bat
For hitting him on his head!

Love

Kate Monster:
Love

Christmas Eve:
And hate

Kate Monster:
And hate

Christmas Eve:
They like two brothers

Kate Monster:
Brothers

Christmas Eve:
Who go on a date

Kate Monster:
Who....what?

Christmas Eve:
Where one of them goes,
Other one follows
You inviting love
He also bringing sorrows

Kate Monster:
Ah, yes.

Christmas Eve:
The more you love someone,
The more you want to kill ‘em.
Loving and killing
Fit like hand in glove!

Kate Monster:
Hand in glove.

Christmas Eve:
So if there someone
You are wanting so
To kill ‘em.
You go and find him.
And you get him.
And you no kill him.
‘Cause chances good

Both:
He is your love.

and i pray everyday, God give me wisdom and due dilligence in living my life for You. and maybe insert a silent request, God just show me already? haha.

Give me strength to cross the water,
keep my heart upon Your altar.
Give me strength to cross this water,
keep my feet don't let me falter.